Thursday, February 26, 2009

Day 3- Love is not selfish

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves- Philippians 2:3

Today's dare-

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."

Day 2 round up.

What discoveries about love dd you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?

Here is my journal entry from Day 2 (remember, I did this one awhile ago).

Today was great! We ad Lessons and Carols and I got to sing (a duet) with B. He seems to be over the stress of the concert (he was directing) and has again come out of his shell and started being himself again.

I waited (purposely) to put the girls down for a nap until he got home from church so he could sleep. I knew he needed it to function well at L&C that evening.

I learned that love is understanding. Though it was tough to be invisible last week, today we reassuring and happy. Where I thought love had left us, it was just being stifled by stress. Love endures all things!

I love hearing you all share your feelings!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Day 2 - Love is kind

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has als forgiven you. -Ephesians 4:32

From the book:

"Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive one. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing."

Kindness has 4 basic components:

Gentleness- being careful how you treat you spouse. Tender, sensitive.

Helpfulness- Being kind means you meet the needs of the moments. If it's laundry, you wash. If a friend needs a listening ear, you listen, etc.

Willingness- Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. Rather than complaining or making excuses, you compromise and accommodate. Cooperate, stay flexible.

Initiative- Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. The kind spouse is the first to smile, greet, smooch, forgive...

"Love in it's truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness"

Day 2's dare

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Day 1 recap did it go?

Did anything happen today to cause anger towards your mate?
Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts, and let them come out in words?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tomorrow's dare

Tomorrow is Day 1 of our love dare. Are you ready????

Love is patient

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love- Ephesians 4:2

I can't write everything the book describes, but the words are powerful and moving. And if you are serious about taking this dare, I highly encourage you to buy the book so you can read all of it's knowledge. This dare is preceded by saying we are born with "a lifelong thirst for love". Our hearts need love like our lungs need oxygen. It goes on to say that the two pillars of love are patience and kindness. The first dare will begin here. Being patient in any situation means you have chosen to react in a positive way to a negative situation. Imagine sitting in traffic, or being cut off. If we are patient, we are slow to anger, step back and let the person go ahead. I tend to drive this way, and I rarely get angry behind the wheel. If only I could take that trait into my household.

Anger never fixes a problem, it usually makes it worse. "Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm....patience is a deep breath".

Today's dare (February 25th)

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart.

For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and say NOTHING negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.
It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret.

When you have completed this dare, please come back and comment on how you did. How it made you feel. How did your spouse react??? Sharing with each other is the great part of this. We all have support in one another, and God.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Taking the Love Dare

The Love Dare as featured in the movie "Fireproof" is a 40 day challenge for husbands and wives. I started the dare back in December, but a myriad of "stuff" got in the way and I quickly forgot about the book, even though the first 4 days had already started a series of great changes and unexpected feelings.

I am challenging all of my married friends to take the Love Dare with me this Lent season. It's only 40 days....and they will change your life. Come with me....share your comments, feelings, and inspirations as we take on this challenge. You can buy the book at your local Barnes and Noble, or neighborhood Christian bookstore for about $10 if you would like to follow along. You can also journal in the dare book, to sort out feelings, write down expectations that are met, or not, and to have a beautiful chronicle of your journey.

Come on....what are you waiting for? The Dare starts in 2 days!!!!