Day 4- Love is thoughtful

Okay, so you've had the weekend off and now it is time to get back to business.

Today in our journals we learn about the importance of being a thoughtful spouse. It begins by saying that love thinks, constantly. Love is not a mindless feeling that rides on emotion. Loving thoughts precede loving actions.

Remember when you first met how easy it was to daydream about your love. You thought of ways to show them you care, the right things to say, and dreamed of the next time you would met. You would call to say "I can't stop thinking about you".

Now the hunt is over. You won your prize and the motivation for being thoughtful has waned. After a while, you may even begin to ignore the needs of your partner.

"If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship."

You can imagine how this goes after several years, or decades of "Today's our anniversary?" or "Why wasn't I included in that decision?", etc etc.

The next section talks about the difference between the way men an women think and communicate. Women think and speak between the lines and "hint" whereas men think in headlines and say what they mean. A man has to listen for the implication in his spouses words, yet the woman needs to not read too deeply into what her husband is saying.

When a couple does not understand this, the result can be countless disagreements. Women are thinking "I shouldn't have to spell this out for him" and a man wonders to himself "Why won't she just tel me what she wants?" Does this sound familiar? It used to be a topic of conversation monthly in our house. Now when I get quiet, my husband assumes I am angry or upset with him and asks what's wrong. He is always looking for that hidden implication that something is not right. It takes awhile to assure him I am just sleepy, or in deep thought.

When was the last time you spent a few minutes thinking about how you could better understand your spouse? What immediate need can you meet? What's the next big event (birthday, anniversary, father's day) you could prepare for? Great marriages come from thinking.

Today's Dare

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how she or he is doing and is there anything you could do for them.