Monday, March 2, 2009

Day 5- Love is not rude

For those who want to play catch-up to get us back on our 40 day Lent journey, I am posting another dare for you today. These two kind of go together anyway.

Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners. Embracing this concept can add fresh air to your relationship.

There are 2 main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness.

Test yourself with these questions:
  • How does your spouse feel about the way you speak ad act around them?
  • How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem?
  • Would your spouse say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

If you are thinking that your spouse-not you-is the one who needs work in this area, you're likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness. Remember, love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard.

Do you wish you spouse would stop doing things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing things that bother them.

The three rules of etiquette for married folk:

1. Treat your mate the way you want to be treated.

2. No double standards.

3. Consider what your spouse has already asked of you. If in doubt, ask.

Today's Dare!

Ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that cause him/her to become uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them of justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only!


Anonymous said...

Ooh, this one might spark some conversation. It's one of my biggest fears for our relationship. I feel that my hunney would say that I am condescending and embarrassing. I'm going to work extra hard on this one.

The Bennights said...

My husband actually refused to play along with this one. He said that we had been so happy for awhile and did not want to change anything by negative feelings. I assured him he was in a safe place to tell me. But he would not do it.
So I asked about a few things and he gave me a knowing glance. I pretty much know what bothers him...and I'm committed to trying my hardest to change that.

Dana said...

I think Jason was ready to let loose on this one. He really only had one complaint that he shared but it was obviously a big one for him. I didn't feel like the constructive critisism was negative and we ended up discussing how we can both help each other and make things easier around the house. I have a great hubby.